Tonight on Mystical Theology Theater 3000

Santa Claus conquers the Maritains: Coming down the chimney one Christmas eve, good old St. Nick is surprised by the elderly Jacques Maritain and spends the rest of the night charming the theologian and his wife Raisa with his tales of beating the snot out of Arius at the Council of Nicaea. (TV-PG-XIII. Arianism and violence.)